Simcha Fisher is a speaker, freelance writer and author of The Sinner's Guide to Natural Family Planning. “I got out of that mode pretty fast,” Ms. Crino said. Although the godmother’s husband (and father of her godson) is not Catholic, the couples talk about faith all the time and laugh about it. We hope that parents choose godparents who will take an active role in the faith formation of their child. Ms. Ekblad has suffered many miscarriages, and she chooses godparents for those children, too. ​Does this person understand the seriousness of a godparent's responsibilities, especially in the aspect of faith and morality? ​Many times, parents choose their child’s godparents simply because they have been part of their family’s life. The real role of godparents is revealed in the years following the godchild’s baptism. Our 7 year old has a Lutheran godmother, his aunt, as he was baptized Lutheran. Godparents or the sponsors of the baptized infant were accountable for helping parents guide their children in their journey of faith. But Maria Hayes, who immigrated from Warsaw two years ago, said that at least in Poland, strong religious identity does not always translate into strong personal faith. Members of the Eastern Churches are distinguished from members of ecclesial communities. Then her friend asked her to become the godmother of her first son. Nichole Flores profiles Federico Peña, the first Hispanic mayor of Denver and a leader in national politics, who is now focused on the physical and spiritual health of his community. He was the one who had rescued her from an abusive household and raised her. Check out some of the. They were accountable for ensuring the credibility of anyone joining the faith. People often want to ask their best friends or favorite relatives to act as Godparents for their children; they usually do this as a way of honoring someone. Godparents live a life in harmony with the faith and strive to actively live out their commitment to Christ and to … “While Cathy was still pregnant, my role was to pray for them,” Ms. Nelson said. You can’t drag someone into the church. “If they don’t [know their faith], their mother certainly does, and she makes sure things happen,” Ms. Crino said. ​In an ideal situation, a child’s godparents must be available to guide a child during different important life events like birthdays, first communions, graduations and school programs.This may not always be possible but a godparent can be part of these milestones in other ways like sending greeting cards with words of wisdom and Bible verses or giving meaningful gifts that their godchild can use to deepen their faith such as rosary beads and Christian books. But this ubiquitous Catholicism, she said, is mainly a cultural identity and lacks a spiritual component. Her brother asked to be confirmed so he could be “a proper and good godfather” for his nephew. But she calls her granddaughter’s godmother “the ultimate godparent,” who brings Christmas and birthday presents, lets her goddaughter walk the Stations of the Cross with her during Lent and prays the rosary for her every day. Federico Peña made history as the first Hispanic mayor of Denver. She had a beautiful life,” Ms. Nelson said. It is possible to have only one godparent, but if there are two, there must be one male and one female. She tries to present the church’s teaching on godparents as a positive opportunity rather than a list of rules. Only a practicing Catholic who meets the qualifications of a confirmed Catholic, age 16 or older, and has received the Sacrament of the Eucharist, may be a godparent or sponsor for baptism. As president, Joe Biden will have to seek common ground across a wide ideological spectrum, writes Congressman Tom Suozzi of New York. Baptism is the first of the seven sacraments of the Catholic Church and the gateway into the Christian life. How to Choose a Godparent. A Godparent is a Catholic person of mature faith who is and will be a support and witness to the child throughout his/her journey of faith. Basically, Ruby and her family adopted all of us.”. Ms. Crino is the director of religious education and a pastoral associate at St. Emily Church in Mount Prospect, Ill. She has been working for the church in Chicago for 34 years. Traditionally, a godparent is a sponsor chosen when someone, often a baby, receives the sacrament of Baptism, a rite of admission into Christianity. The Catholic Church has canon law about choosing godparents as sponsors for babies who are being baptized. Praying and intercession are almost more important than contact,” she said. I was so excited when my sister and brother-in-law asked my brother and I to be godparents to their first child, Xavier. Seeking Advice Talk with your spouse. “Now we’re connected forever, both ways,” she said. Second, Godparents had to protect the doctrine of the Faith from paganism and persecution in the early days. A godparent must be a good example of living their Catholic faith. Godparents must be at least 16 years old and may not be the child's parent (step parent, father or … “It was 100 percent a choice of respect,” Ms. Adams said. The doctors said that if she survived birth, she would be blind, unable to walk or talk and would only ever suffer. His relationship with God as a Catholic will help him to do so. “It’s very difficult. They want something for their kids, or they see something in their fiancé’s family, and they want to be a part of it.”, Years ago, she co-authored a book on baptism preparation, but she said it would not be useful now, considering how poorly catechized so many parents are. Sometimes it is someone she would have never considered on her own or someone the family does not see often. At least one of the godparents must be a member of the Catholic Church. If there are two sponsors, one must be Catholic. Ms. Ekblad does not know if the relationships between these pairs would be as strong as they are without that spiritual tie, but she is certain it is good for the older kids to have the responsibility of praying for their siblings and being active in forming their faith. Therefore, each parent should choose a godparent not just because of a blood relationship or friendship; rather, a godparent should be a trustworthy witness of the faith who will help the godchild attain salvation. Godparents must be baptized Catholics who have received the Eucharist and have been Confirmed. Choosing a Godparent: The choice of godparents is very important since they serve as role models for the child by living a fully Christian life and encouraging the child in the experience of the Catholic Faith. This sacrament is celebrated only once in a person’s life, making it a day to be remembered. She said her tio was a “good Catholic,” but she never expected him to teach her son any theology. “Many Americans would be surprised at how liberal Poles are,” Ms. Hayes said. Now she speaks more simply about what parents are asking for when they seek out baptism for their children. Barbara Dawson said that she barely knew Ruby, her daughter Bailey’s confirmation sponsor. Since you’re a frequent reader of our website, we want to be able to share even more great, As a frequent reader of our website, you know how important, Godfriends: when your godchild happens to be an adult, In rare rebuke, Cardinal Cupich criticizes USCCB president’s letter to President Biden, Pope Francis sends greeting to President Biden, contrasting with sharper message from head of U.S. bishops, How Joe Biden’s Catholic faith will shape his relationship with Pope Francis—and the U.S. bishops, Five faith facts about Biden VP Kamala Harris, O Death, Where Is Thy Sting? You still get the sacraments, though. There are several requirements for choosing Catholic godparents that are outlined in the Code of Canon Law, 872-874, as explained by Madrid. If you login and register your print subscription number with your account, you’ll have unlimited access to the website. ​Godparents have a very influential role not just in the lives of their godchildren but also in the family and even society as a whole. Basically, Ruby and her family adopted all of us,” Ms. Dawson said. A non-Catholic person may not be a godparent at a Catholic baptism. Ms. Adams was raised culturally Catholic—“statues all over the place,” she said—but her mother did not go to Mass, and Ms. Adams drifted toward the Baptist Church. Of course, we all would like to honor those who are dear to us, but the Baptism of your child may not be the right time to do so. The most fundamental way to fulfill this role is through prayer so always make your godchild a part of your daily prayers. Is this person reliable enough to maintain a long-term relationship with the godchild? Considering the influence and custodial responsibility that godparents have over their godchild, much more thought must be put into choosing a godfather or godmother. Rather than using baptism as an opportunity to draw in sponsors, the church needed to be wary of infiltrators posing as catechumens. After a series of divorces, remarriages and other upheavals, Ms. Adams’s husband’s sister is now her ex-boyfriends’ children’s godmother, and the man for whom Stacey’s ex-wife left him is his children’s godfather—for life. In the early days of Christianity, when persecution was rampant, the situation was reversed. The godparents were the ones expected to raise the orphaned child. “She was a child of the light,” Ms. Nelson remembers the priest saying. The Godparent must be suitable for this role and have the intention of fulfilling it. Choose an eligible Godparent(s). The true intent is that the godparent be an active, practicing Catholic, someone who treasures the Catholic faith, provides good example and would joyfully and eagerly be a partner with the parents in raising the child in the faith. When Ms. Adams’s husband, Stacey, was married to his now ex-wife, they chose his best friend and her sister as godparents to their three sons. Logging in will also give you access to commenting features on our website. Tiny pieces of plastic waste, already found at the top of Mount Everest and the bottom of the ocean, may now have a toehold in the human womb, writes Kathleen Bonnette. Choosing a Godparent How to chose a Godparent(s) for your child. A godparent must be willing to encourage the child to develop and grow in the Catholic faith. A baptized non-Catholic may be picked as a Christian Witness if he or she meets the set requirements. The godparent’s faith need not … Godparents must be fully initiated members of the Catholic Church who are at least 16 years of age. The presider at baptism asks the godparents, “Are you ready to help the parents of this child in their duty as Christian parents?” And the godparents respond, “We are.”. We ask our visitors to confirm their email to keep your account secure and make sure you're able to receive email from us. When she married and gave birth to her daughter, she and her husband chose a close friend to be the godmother; but since the friend's husband is a Methodist pastor, she chose her husband's friend to be the godfather. No Catholic family members on either side unfortunately. 2. if you are trying to comment, you must log in or set up a new account. This was how the initial role of godparents came to existence. Please contact us at members@americamedia.org with any questions. Godparents play a significant role on the day of the baptism. “Asking someone to be a godparent is a big deal, kind of like asking someone to walk you down the aisle at your wedding,” Ms. Adams said. ​Does this person have the solid moral character necessary to become a good role model for the child? Baptism - Choosing Godparents The responsibility assumed by a godparent is not one to be taken lightly, and parents are encouraged to choose carefully. How are they supposed to be chosen, and what are their duties? How did your godparents shape your life? “These are folks who are raised with nothing. When you register, you’ll get unlimited access to our website and a free subscription to our email newsletter for daily updates with a smart, Catholic take on faith and culture from, We’re sorry registration isn't working smoothly for you. 7 tips on what to listen to in prayer. If you’re already a subscriber or donor, thank you! If this person is taking tentative steps [toward the church] and is hit with obstacles, he’s going to say, ‘Why did I bother?’ and give up. It enlarges the family by adding names to the roles, but it also strengthens the family ties within the communion of saints—even before birth, even after death. At least one of the godparents must be a member of the Catholic Church. “It’s not worth it to fight it.”. “Asking someone to be a godparent is a big deal, kind of like asking someone to walk you down the aisle at your wedding.”. A Meditation on Suffering. If you're baptizing your child in the Church, you will want to check with your spiritual leader about the prerequisites for being a godparent. “It’s not a matter of finding the most accurate argument for the faith. You can then make this simple activity much more meaningful by incorporating a spiritual element to it like reading Bible verses or talking about the lives of saints. Ms. Hayes left the faith but reverted as a young adult. One common misunderstanding: Parents sometimes assume that “godparent” is the same as “legal guardian,” while the godparents themselves expect to provide nothing more than a greeting card and an occasional prayer. Choosing a friend or relative as godparent may enlarge the family, but it can also add to family drama and discord. The work of choosing … To begin the … “She brought a lot of light into the world for a long time.”. So what does the church actually require of godparents? “I just picked people I liked [for godparents].”. Some of her children, who range in age from 1 to 26, are now old enough to be godparents for their own siblings. The requirements for godparents are: Being a practicing Catholic Be over 16 years of age The Godparents primary responsibility is to ensure that your child is raised in the Catholic faith, should you fail to do so. The choice of a godparent is not yours alone. You can either click on the link in your confirmation email or simply re-enter your email address below to confirm it. Ms. Adams herself chose some of her children’s godparents under duress, simply to avoid offending family members. “They didn’t need anything material at that point. They may be relatives or friends of the family. “I was a nominal Catholic, at best, until about 15 years ago,” Ms. Ekblad said. You can best teach your godchild important spiritual lessons for life if you are able to build a trusting and loving relationship with them. ​​The Catholic Church also has a set of specific requirements for people who are to fulfill the role of godparent. “The majority probably aren’t practicing [Catholics]. Choosing the right Godparents for your child is a very important decision. Microplastics are toxic to fetal development—a reminder that the environment is a pro-life issue, too. Joan Nelson, the director of evangelization for young families at St. Edward the Confessor Church in Richmond, Va., is intimately familiar with that need for community. “She walked, she talked, she was the school spelling bee champ, she played soccer, she was in plays. “My job was to pray with them and to pray for them and to be present as much as they needed me.”. There was nothing that could be done. “Her family was already buying candles and rosaries in Mexico, and she was planning to get Bailey stuff on her trip to Israel. She had heart surgery and lived to be 9 years old before her shunt finally failed. And she holds out hope that the child’s father will also draw closer to the church. This information will answer many of your questions concerning Church requirements for Godparents. I was absolutely floored. Who can be a Godparent? The church requires at least one godparent who is a practicing, confirmed Catholic age 16 or older. It can be tricky business when choosing a godparent for your child, but ultimately, the godparents should be in communion with the Church, love your child, and be an active part in their Catholic upbringing. Sometimes the grandparents are pressuring them to go through with it; sometimes they are simply looking for a beautiful backdrop for what they see as a purely cultural rite of passage for their baby. “Now that I understand the role of a godparent, which is to be a support in teaching the faith and helping with the formation of the child, I feel like I was cheated and like some of my kids were, too,” Ms. Adams said. The baby, named Betsy, was born almost full term. So how does one go about this task? While some faith communities may expect godparents to raise their godchildren if the parents die, neither civil nor church law recognizes such an obligation. I never went to church as a child, but I went to first Communion and got a party.” Her own godparents were friends of her nonbelieving parents, and she has no relationship with them. Thus, godparents are to be people whose faith lends itself to this … For more on choosing godparents, check out the FAQ above, Belonging: Baptism in the Family of God – Role of Godparents and Fr. They see their peers receiving sacraments and want that for themselves. Be creative in how you reach out to your godchild. ​In about 800 AD, infant baptism became a common practice and this tradition shaped the contemporary role of godparents. Your source for jobs, books, retreats, and much more. After logging in you can close it and return to this page. Ms. Nelson said, “I say he’s not Catholic—yet.”. The role our godparents have in our journey here on earth is actually so much more significant so we must be careful in the people we choose to take up that role. YES! But as soon as Bailey asked Ruby to sponsor her, she excitedly launched plans to buy Bailey a dress, shoes and jewelry. raise your child in the Catholic Faith. Regularly check in on your godchild to ask about his or her needs and struggles and pray about them. My job was to pray with them and to pray for them and to be present as much as they needed me.”. Copyright © 2021 America Press Inc. | All Rights Reserved. The priest may allow someone younger than 16 to be a a godparent, if he or she meets the other requirements, He or she cannot be a Catholic who has left the church, How Catholics Celebrate The Feast Of The Most Precious Blood Of Jesus, History of the Catholic Charismatic Movement. Choosing a Godparent: The day of Baptism is a very special day. Godparents have a very influential role not just in the lives of their godchildren but also in the family and even society as a whole. James Martin’s new book on prayer. When Catholics come to the United States, they transmit their faith for about a generation and a half, she said. Godparents are often chosen before babies are born. Please log in again. Some describe feeling pressure from friends and family to choose someone they consider to be unsuitable for the task. Their parents, if they are Catholic at all, are usually agreeable to the idea but are not always invested or catechized. When Betsy died, over 1,000 people attended her funeral, where the priest reminded the congregation of the candle that Ms. Nelson and her husband had held on Betsy’s behalf at her baptism nine years before. Not long ago in Ms. Nelson’s parish, a Catholic mother married to a non-Catholic man chose her younger brother as godfather. Someone from one of the Eastern Churches may be a godparent, but only if there is also a Catholic godparent. You can also manage your account details and your print subscription after logging in. “They want something, but they can’t articulate it at all,” Ms. Crino said. Ugh, the godparent issue is the bane of my existence. Make this bonding moment fun so that it is something that your godchild can look forward to. She said the book “assumed a level of conversation with the faith that a lot of parents just don’t have.”, “Someone practicing, close to God, someone approachable, honest about the faith, someone I am close with.”, Early in her career, Ms. Crino would try to engage new parents in “long conversations about St. Augustine and original sin,” until she realized that the new moms were “ready to kill [her] because it was time to nurse.”. When Joan Nelson’s lifelong friend Cathy asked her to be the godmother for her unborn daughter, she readily agreed. This was the case with Ms. Adams’s own godmother, who no longer acknowledges their relationship. The Catechism of the Catholic Church reminds us that “faith needs the community of believers,” and it names godparents as the most immediate members of that community for the newly baptized as their faith “unfolds.”, Godparents, according to the catechism, “must be firm believers, able and ready to help the newly baptized.” They are an important part of the “ecclesial community [that] bears some responsibility for the development and safeguarding of the grace given at baptism.”, Godparents, according to the Catechism, “must be firm believers, able and ready to help the newly baptized.”. She said it is common for people who were not confirmed, or even refused confirmation earlier in their lives, to ask to be confirmed as adults just so they can become godparents. Ms. Nelson often has the unpleasant task of telling them they cannot honor friends with the godparent role because they are not Catholic or because they are in an invalid marriage. Thanks to fairy tales like Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty, the concept of godparents is often taken to mean magical beings who grant wishes or make our lives easier. There are many facets and factors to choosing a godparent depending on whether you’re approaching it in a religious or symbolic way. Now, he is imagining a better church. If you are choosing two godparents, one must be male and the other female. Despite the life-long implications of choosing godparents, the parents themselves are often not the only party with a say in the decision. This article also appeared in print, under the headline “How to Choose the Right Godparent: Baptisms can bring fallen away Catholics back to the faith,” in the October 15, 2018, issue. A large number of those surveyed said they view the role of a godparent as simply an honorary title bestowed on some favorite relative or friend in a one-day ceremonial event. Solid moral character necessary to become a good role model for the faith holds hope... 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