It has been dragging on for about 8 weeks which is since the time we broke up. there's no point thinking that, but i can't help it; it's what naturally crosses my mind. But I just can't seem to shake the thought that I let a really good one, a really special person, get away. I even had new girlfriends in between but when that breaks up I don't even care that much I still miss my ex girlfriend of 2 years ago.. She already had a new boyfriend like 2 weeks after … In general, though, if it’s been years since the end of a six-month relationship and you still feel attached to your ex, you might want to seek professional help. (Which means you won't be crying into that carton of cookie dough ice cream forever.) After you've invested time in a person, formed a meaningful bond, and gotten used to having them as a central part of your life, it's hard to cut ties entirely. but then it turned into a really bad break up. If not, I would suggest having a long discussion and talking it through with them. I have conducted a survey from my past clients and asked them how long it took their exes to reach out. So refocusing on what went bad, what caused them to drift away from you, how you felt in those moments. I've been struggling with getting over my ex for 2 years now.. And I STILL miss her.. Not in any sexual way. I don't know how appropriate bringing up the subject would be, as much as it might help my mental and emotional state, I'm afraid i might cross a line that causes them to cut off all communication. It will fade. Unfortunately poly relationships always start with one person wanting it so the other will mostly feel jealousy. I think about them every waking moment, and im running out of ideas to cope with it. We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve. wondering if meeting someone else i like would change things. i never really got closure or clarity on my time with him, and i know i won't get it now. I have tried to move on but I'm just mad/sorely disappointed that it didn't work out because I really liked him and thought there was potential for something amazing. she's getting a much better deal than he is. I mean, its seriously every waking moment. You may feel wrong and guilty when you miss or even think about a toxic ex, but here is why it's OK to still be slightly affected by a breakup even years after the fact. I don't know what to do, i don't even know if im actually still in love with them or if im just consumed by regret and guilt. More posts from the relationships community. Since he returned we’ve been spending a lot of time together, I’ve been asking him about fixing things and going back into a relationship . If you keep in contact, you might be obsessing over him and your relationship, which also takes power away from you. Unfortunately, while I think i was well intentioned, that turned out to be a lie, and i was not emotionally prepared for it at all. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. i don't know what to think. The reason for that is because dumpers need a lot of alone time to live their life the way they had envisioned. (I … After 2 years i'm still not over my ex, is it worth trying? Getting over a breakup is never easy. TL;DR: I'm not over my ex, who I broke up with 2 years ago. Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. Thanks for the comment btw. what hurts is not just that i'm not with him, but that i have to see him with someone else. Has your ex moved on as in they found a new person/persons? i dated a guy for almost a year, and i swear i fell in love with him. After crying, talking, and crying a lot more, he left, and I closed the door behind him. [Find out what the variables mean here.] Now, if it's been a very long time—like years—and you're still not over your ex, then probably something else is troubling you. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. You need to find happiness in other forms of your life before you can find happiness with another guy. If the relationship is truly over and neither of you is doing anything to make the other hold out hope for reconciliation, it is likely that these feelings will fade with time. Seeing your ex for the first time after breaking up feels like getting punched in the stomach. A common sentiment of people who left a relationship against their will is that they will "never find someone" like their partner. I don’t know your feelings but IMO I think you’re still in love with them. This girl and I dated for a year even though I am still not over the girl of my dreams even though we broke up 2 years ago. Long story short I went out with my first girlfriend for 2 years we had some good times but she also lied and cheated, although I dont really care about that anymore. I want to be free of this, over it. i want to get over this. he now has a new girlfriend (dating for a year, seems to be going very well) and has moved to a different town. Start a new hobby. I also spoke to dumpers, looked and browsed through various forums and conversed with dumpees from all over the world to provide the most accurate information I possibly can. Start dating other people, ASAP. The wind gets knocked out of you. Aside from social media stalking, many ex-couples continue to actually communicate—trying to stay friends. It's not healthy to pine after this guy, especially when, it sounds like, it was nothing serious and it's been 2 years since y'all stopped dating. They Want A Shoulder To Cry On Hi, my ex and I broke up for over a year and couple months.He left me for someone else then returned about 7weeks after we broke up. Then there is Broadly writer Maria Yagoda’s self-prescribed equation to calculate the time it takes to get over an ex: x/2 + j + l - 2 + k/2 + r = y. You may only need a short duration of therapy to sort this out too since it’s one specific issue. I understand you want what’s better for him but that’s not for you to decide now. If seeing him on social is preventing that remove him and move on. It has invariably ended with me thinking "The bad times with them were still way better than the times without them." and undeserving. I tried seeing other people, but I can't be intimate with someone else because of my feelings for my ex. 2. It's not healthy to pine after this guy, especially when, it sounds like, it was nothing serious and it's been 2 years since y'all stopped dating. Yeah, my cheating university ex used to reach out to chat and ask how my life was going every now and then for ~5 years after … Any advice, Reddit? Finally, see a therapist. 2. If you can’t talk on the phone or be in the same room with your ex-spouse without feeling your stomach clutch, then you’re still attached. she must be so happy. Maybe try shifting the thought of your ex to thoughts of your relationship. and i just know she's just tickled with joy at her situation. You will not be able to date someone else while you still feel this way. Even after 20 years, I STILL can't get over the only girl I've loved. Then, go outside. But if he starts sniffing around, wanting you back, now’s your chance to get that control of the situation. It's been over two years since the initial split from my marriage, and while I am truly happy most days now and have learned to allow grief to pass through me when it needs to, those landmines still go off. It’s unusual to be hung up on an ex to this degree years down the line. That was almost two years ago, and we never saw each other, spoke, or texted again. Just under 2 years ago just after we started at separate universities she broke up with me very suddenly over long distance and we never spoke/saw each other again. We don't really talk anymore beyond polite chit chat. And if this is not the case with your ex-boyfriend / ex-girlfriend , there are two … Then, go outside. he can do so much better. I don't know, but if you have all those, I guarantee every man you date, they'll try to keep you tight than lose you. Question: My ex-girlfriend says it’s over and there is no chance for us but she is still calling me and says things like it’s a shame it turned out like this and I saw you today and you looked sad. Unfortunately, the knowledge that you’re there still pining away for them (whether your are or not) can be just the springboard that they need to feel good about themselves. But just from time to time. She was my high-school sweat heat and the one I consider as "the one that got away" Long story short she moved away and things didn't work out. Thank you for the advice, but unfortunately I've already more or less tried this. That’s a really tough situation. For two years I've not been able to get them out of my head. You Feel Like You'll Never Find Somebody Else. I (22 Non Binary) am still not over my Ex (23 Gender Fluid) after 2 years of being apart, and I don't know what to do. Healing after a breakup isn't easy—if it were, millions of songs, paintings and poems wouldn’t even exist.But while the pain of cutting ties with a loved one is universal, fortunately, it’s not eternal. he's an amazing catch. 2. Go for a walk. You need therapy I think. They've had a steady boyfriend for the past few months, and im pretty sure a girlfriend as well. You can be in love with a person but that doesn't mean a relationship will work. Meet up with friends or family. Im 21 years old. It’s just not for some people , and mono relationships aren’t for some people either. I was a selfish, jealous ass throughout that season in the relationship, and it resulted in them breaking up with the other person, and eventually to us drifting apart. Sometimes two people just aren’t a match, it’s as simple as that. For some people it’s normal to have lingering feelings for an ex after two or more years. You end up thinking, yeah that person was great but I wasn't feeling great with them. Rejection hurts, even if it had nothing to do with you it can still sting and make you feel like you’re somehow not good enough. During my 1 year relationship with the rebound, I still thought about my ex. she is LUCKY. Still not over ex of 2 years- it's ruining me- please help Personal issues So almost two years ago my boyfriend of five years broke up with me in order to "work on himself" (that lasted for about a month before he started pursuing a friend in common). But exactly how long does it take to get over someone? They moved on a long time ago, and I'm quite happy to just leave them alone, but I also don't know what to do about my own situation, other than become a hermit and live in a swamp. Please stop stalking him online it doesn’t help, it just prolongs you getting over him. but she has clearly sunk her teeth into him and peed in a circle around him to mark her territory. 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