I was gonna see The Simpsons Movie,
but I’m really into this cup and ball now.
July 28, 2007
May 7, 2007
Notes on Spiderman 3
Summer movie season is finally in full swing! (Gene Shalit, eat your heart out.) I’ve been out of review writing for a while and it’s not really my bag, but this year’s summer movie blog will be more of the “Notes on …” format I originally pictured. It’s just a record of my thoughts on films as I see them, without trying to sand down the edges and make the pieces fit too nicely. Essentially, you’ll be looking at an unstructured rough draft of a review that will never be written.
Spiderman 2 ripped off Superman 2 with the whole “Hero turns his back on herodom to get the girl only to return to the tights to save the day in the end,” so it seems fitting that Spiderman 3 had a little too much comedy and a corrupted dark version of our hero. I was waiting for Thomas Hayden Church to ski down the side of a sky scraper or black suited Spidey to straighten out the Leaning Tower of Pisa. (more…)
August 21, 2006
Notes on a Snakes on a Plane
It’s hard to write up a picture like Snakes on a Plane this late in the game, after it has had more ink spilled on it than almost anything else of the summer, but I’ve got a thing or two to say on the subject and, hell, Slate keeps letting an idiot like Dana Stevens file reviews. Let’s start with a few thoughts on the hype:
The mainstream entertainment press jumped on board the mostly Internet-fueled hype, without really seeming to get why except for knowing it was the “cool” thing to do. In a lot of ways I’d describe the hype on SoaP with that hoary old Louis Armstrong quote about jazz: “If you have to ask, you’ll never know.” I’ve never really been at more of a loss for words than when I tried to quantify my reasons for looking forward to the picture. It seems that both sides of the divide agree on the general facts: The concept is bad and the title is worse. Where the discord happens is in the tone with which one states these facts. To resort to another well-worn phrase: if you’re going to say it, you best smile when you do. (more…)
July 10, 2006
Notes on Pirates of the Caribbean:
Dead Man’s Chest
Note: As with most items on ReelChange.com, there is a spoiler risk, and this is primarily intended for consumption after viewing the film in question.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest, which follows the franchise naming conventions of the last couple of decades by adopting a colon early and eschewing numbers or, god forbid, roman numerals, opens with a shot that sets up my main question for these notes: Do these filmmakers really know what they are doing?
This isn’t a question of blockbuster filmmaking competence. Obviously, these are savvy summer blockbuster, audience-testing, demographic-targeting, opening-weekend-box-office-ruling, advertising tie-in, franchise-stroking business people, but are they filmmakers who are consciously aware of what they are doing? (more…)
June 29, 2006
Notes on Superman Returns
I’d like to start these overwhelmingly positive notes with a negative thought that only cursorily involves Superman Returns. If I read one more “There’s no more originality in Hollywood” ramble by some under-watched film journalist hack, I will make it my life’s work to get that “writer” fired and returned to the Detroit Free Press or some other lame media outlet faster than the proverbial speeding bullet.
There’s nothing original in Hollywood? Everything is either a remake, or a sequel, or an adaptation of something popular?
I have three things to say to you.
- How can you bitch about originality while writing the same lame piece as bunch of other junket whores who know less about film than the guys at the sports desk?
- Yes, and that’s how it’s always been.
- That doesn’t mean it has to be bad.
And finally, bringing us to the subject at hand:
June 16, 2006
Notes on Banlieue 13 (District B13)
Luc Besson is somehow becoming the new Roger Corman. Both men started their careers directing low budget genre pieces with smart original twists. Then each went on to higher profile genre pieces, which garnered more fans without losing much of their underground hipster cred, and now Besson, like Corman before him, has become primarily a talent scout, a producer, and a concept man whose name on the credits generally indicates, at the very least, a good time for the fans.
It’s not that Kiss of the Dragon or The Transporter or the original French version of Taxi were masterpieces by any stretch of the imagination, but they are all enjoyable works with a little more smarts and a lot more style than 90% of actioners with higher budgets and more impressive pedigrees. (more…)
June 6, 2006
Notes on The Omen (remake)
In the past I have taken back some bad things I said about John Moore after being subjected to Behind Enemy Lines after seeing his remake of Flight of the Phoenix and reading Armond White’s take on it, in which he nominates Moore “for Peckinpah’s retired jersey.” While I didn’t go quite as far as White did in praising Moore’s remake, I did think that Phoenix was a huge step forward from Enemy Lines, and I was interested in seeing where Moore was going.
This takes us to 6/6/06 with Moore at the helm of another remake. It’s not so much bad as it is dull, but it uses its 95% boring parts to its advantage for 4 cheap, jolting sting scares. So if you are looking for a recommendation, I simply ask: is one decent moment of gore and a sting about every half hour worth your ticket? It ain’t for me, I’ll tell you that.
There’s rarely any more damning with faint praise a reviewer can give a film than to discuss the intentions of the director and how at their core they are admirable. Well if there’s an opposite of that (Praising with faint damns doesn’t quite work), that’s what I’m doing. Moore really seems to be intent on making a serious, grown-up oriented, satanic-inspired thriller, and even tips his hat to that with the stunt casting of Mia Farrow, but he never gets even close. (more…)
May 27, 2006
Notes on X-Men 3: The Last Stand
Perfunctory sequel. X-Men 3: The Last Stand, under the frat boy level supervision of Brett Ratner, does everything that fans feared would happen back when Bryan Singer started the franchise. It would be an Electra of a failure if it weren’t built on the at least competent foundation that the previous two films laid down. For the most part it’s a styleless exercise in plot that skips from point to point with no concern for developing the substance needed to fill the picture’s empty epic scope.
It’s not that X3 crashes and burns, but it doesn’t soar like it should, either. The script sets some interesting ideas into motion, but it all feels hollow. Scenes seem to be missing. The action moves along, but not in any organic or satisfying way. Ratner seems like that guy who corners you in a film conversation and keeps coming back to how ‘cool’ The Rock was; seemingly to prove this, he sets X3’s final showdown on Alcatraz for little reason other than to use the Golden Gate Bridge and, I suspect, to kiss the demonic shoes of Bay. (more…)
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